Jamie Platt: Esme's Lost Son
by xxMarie93
Summary: Esme had a older son when she was human and when she died Jamie was left with her ex then when he tried to kill himself he was changed into a vampire. What happens when he meets his mom all over again? Will he forgive him or not?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Well this is the other story i have been working on. I have had this idea for a long time and i decided to act upon it. I hope you guys enjoy it. Please review if you want.**_

_**Background:**_

_**Esme was only 17yrs old when she found out she was pregnant with her boyfriend's child. He was 18 and Puerto Rican. When Esme told her parents they had her live there throughout the pregnancy but when Jamie was born they tried to give him up without Esme knowing but Esme found out and then she moved out of the house. Jamie and Esme both did have a tough life together but when Esme married she thought it will help out with their money problems and give them a good place to live but Jamie knew something was off with his mom's new husband. They never got along and when months went by and Charles turned abusive towards the both of them Jamie tried his best to protect his mother but failed. **_

_**When his mother died Jamie was left with Charles since his grandparents didn't want him and neither did any other family members. Jamie and Charles hated each other. All they did was fight for a few weeks then the abusive started. All Charles did was lock him in his room for days at end, no food for days and sometimes would beat him so bad he would end up in the hospital. **_

_**Since Jamie was half-puerto rican he had kind of dark skin which people mistake for being black so he didn't really have the same rights as whites since he was grew up around the 1930's. Jamie seriously hated his life and wanted it to end so when he was turn it just made things worst.**_

_**Jamie Carlos Platt was turned at the age of 17 and was turned into a half-human and half-vampire and he has no idea how that happened. He looks more like his mother then his father expect for the skin color. He has auburn hair with green eyes. His smile is his mom's and he has his father's nose and his lips. He is really sweet just like Esme and has a lot of love for anyone he meets. He also has hate for anyone that messes with him or his mother. Jamie is a very handsome guy and has so much caring in him with a heart full of gold but has never met anyone to share it with. **_

_**Well i hope y'all like the story.  
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_**Esme Cullen**_

Every night, every day I never stop thinking of the one true happy thing in my life. My first born son, Jamie Carlos Platt. I was only 17yrs old when I had him. At the time I was dating a boy who was 18 and was Spanish. He had no intending of having a child especially at a young age and he left. Jamie never met him. Even though I'm a vampire and not supposed to have a lot of my human memories I have never lost memories of my son. He is the one happiness in my human life. I loved my baby boy more than anyone else. I bought him almost everything he wanted and I always made sure he was a happy boy.

I can still see his smile, hear his laugh and hear him when he used to say mama to me. When he got older he never grew out of calling me mama and I loved it. Jamie was always a handsome boy. He had bright green eyes, tanned skin that showed his Spanish side, a big smile with dimples, black/brown curly hair and a great outlook on life. Even though we had a lot of troubles in our lives he always had a smile on his face.

His birthday was coming in 3 days and I just wish I can spend it with him. I don't know how old he would be but I know he wouldn't be alive right now. When I 'died' he was only 11yrs old. I remember saying 'I love you Jamie and just remember I will always be in your heart. Just say my name sweetie and I will be right there.' I can still see the tears in his eyes when I was telling him goodbye. I know I hurt him and abounded him and I hate myself for it. I lost my second son to death and then I left my first son to fend for himself.

I regretted that I left him alone because the only person he had to take care of him was my ex-husband. I knew he wasn't going to take care of him at all. He hated Jamie from the moment he meant him. Jamie had the same feelings about Charles. He not only abused me but he brutally abused Jamie. I would comfort Jamie but he knew we couldn't leave because he would find us and I wasn't going to risk the life of my child.

All I can say is I miss my baby boy more than anything in this world. He was my son, my child, my baby and my sweet little boy. I wish I can see him or say how sorry I was to him but I knew no amount of wishing will bring him back to me.

_**Jamie Platt**_

Life does have its up and downs. Life changes in so many ways that it makes my head spin. I've been on this earth for 90 years and I've seen everything and done almost everything. When it was 1992 I figured that my life was getting boring. Even though I'm a vampire for the rest of my life I don't even like it. For me my transformation was strange. I was normal let's say when I was changed but after a few weeks I got my eye color back and I'm able to eat and sleep for only a few hours and feel fine. I still have to have blood in my system but when I eat I don't feel like other vampires are supposed to. My throat burns but not that bad.

When I come across other vampires they tell me I might be half human and half vampire which is really rare. I like being half human but it confuses other vampires I meet. But anyways I'm Jamie Carlos Platt. I've been a vampire for 90yrs and counting. I was changed when I was 17 by an unknown vampire. I only had a mother when I was changed but when I was 11 she died by suicide. Believe me even though I'm a vampire I still miss her and I never forget her.

In my human life I had a good one. My mother was one of the greatest moms to me. She loved me so much and would always make it known to me but when I was 8 and she married my step father I knew from the first time I met him he was mean and I hated him. I never warned my mom of my gut feeling but soon enough we found out how mean he was. When it was a few months into their marriage Charles started to hit my mom and pick fights with her for no reason. As her son I tried to fight him to save my mom but he was too strong and would beat me brutally. When my mom died that was hell for me. Now no one could protect me. He would use whatever he can find to hurt me. Sometimes he would hit me aside the head with a pan to just knock me out. Throughout my years I had over 100 broken bones and a lot of scars but after I was change all of that went away but the memories didn't. I still have nightmares due to the abuse and at times I would cause harm to myself to just feel like it's not real. That it will all be gone.

When I was first turned I did go back to my home but only to have Charles suffer for the all the shit he put me through.

_**January 5**__**th**__** 1935 **_

_I knew what I was. I knew whoever that man was he changed me into a vampire. A monster, killing machine and my only desired was to go and kill the one man that caused me nothing but pain. _

_I ran out of the woods and back to my house. Charles was there and awake I knew it. When I come through the front door he turns the light on and has a beer in his hand. I'm not scared like I usually am. This time I know I can take him. I don't show my eyes in the light. He comes over to me and smacks me across the face._

"_Its 12am in the fucking morning you little piece of shit! I told you to be home at fucking 10 not 2 hours after that time."_

_I don't say anything to him but he doesn't like that. He takes a hold of my shirt and throws me against the wall. When the light shines on my eyes he sees the red and doesn't get scared but looks closer._

"_What you do? Get something done with your eyes to scare me. Well guess what you piece of shit it didn't work."_

"_Stop calling me that!"_

_Now I was angry at him. I get up from the ground and grab ahold of his throat. Now he had fear in his eyes which I was glad about._

"_I'm not a piece of shit, you are! No your worst then that you're a selfish little shit that only cares about themselves. You drove my mother to her death and now I will take revenge and kill you. I have the power now."_

_While he tries to speak I show no mercy and I break his neck. Then I bite his neck with my teeth and drain his whole body of blood. _

Killing him made me a happy person. I didn't have to worry about him and I felt no guilt about killing him. When that was over I went off to be on my own for the years and years that have passed.

I've decided to move to Canada since I never been there and I needed a new place to stay. Some people are started to notice that I'm not aging and I need to go before any questions are asked. I only take a few things and I run there.

_**5 hours later**_

When I get here I already had a house, it was small but I didn't really care. I sit on the couch and turn the TV on. I ordered everything I needed a few days before and they bought everything 2 days ago. I put the Spanish channel on and watch some shows until I get tired. I enrolled myself in school and I was going to be a junior so I only had one more year to endure. When it was 11pm I fall asleep and knew I will be awake around 3 or 4.

_**Alice Cullen**_

_**Vision:**_

_It was the morning of the first day of school and everyone was talking about a new boy that was going to be attending there. While we look around we see a very nice bmv drive into the parking lot and a young boy probably 16 or 17 comes out of the car. _

_He has sunglasses on, leather jacket, dark blue shirt with black jeans. When he walks past us I smell vampire on him but only half and the other half I smell human. What was this kid? All he does is smile at me and the others and walks up the steps to the school. _

When I come out of the vision I was confused to say the most. If he was a vampire then why did he have human on him? And his smile was the same as Esme's smile which was confusing also. I didn't fear him so no one else so either. When he smiled he had sweetness to him but I don't know if this is a mask since he was hiding his eyes behind the sunglasses.

"Is that going to happen tomorrow?"

Edward asks me. He saw the vision also since he has the mind reading power.

"Yeah it is going to. I don't understand why he has both scents to him. It's just strange."

"Maybe we can find out tomorrow when we talk with him."

I nod my head at Edward. He was right since I do want to talk with him and probably become friends with him. He looks like the type of boy that doesn't have many friends and keeps to himself but he will probably talk to us if we talk to him first. All I know is that we have to figure out if he is a danger and what he really is.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well here is the new chapter. I hope y'all like it. I was happy with the reviews i got and i hope i get more. **

**Thanks again and Enjoy!**_**  
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_**Jamie**_

_**1**__**st**__** day of high school**_

I've been awake since 5am and school here didn't start until 7:30 and it was already 7. I get myself ready and put on my favorite outfit. My black jeans, dark blue shirt and my famous leather jacket, since leather jackets were sold in stores I have been buying them. I go and sit on the couch while I look around the room. Sometimes I didn't like being alone and that's because it's really lonely. I do have friends in this life but none I want to stay with. Some are way too strict and they get on my nerves really fast. At first I loved being alone and doing my own thing but after a while it got lonely for me.

After a while of waiting it was 7:22am so I decide to go to school. I grab my car keys off the table and I stop and look at the picture at the table. I forget I left it here. It was a very old picture of my mother and me when I was only 7yrs old. We were so happy back then but all that went away when he came into our lives. I try my best to hold my tears in. I wasn't going to cry since my mother was dead and wasn't coming back at all.

I grab my book bag and I go to my car. This was my baby and my favorite car of all time. All the money that Charles had and my mom I inherited and believed me it was a lot. This car was a Mercedes Benz E300. It was the new kind not any of the old ones. It is sliver with a black tint to it. I'm in love with my car. I'm not scared to admit it. I open the car door and I throw my bag in the passenger seat and I sit in the driver seat. I start the car up and I put my music up loud which was a song called 'You can get it all' by bow wow. I know I grew up in a different year but I love hip hop and rap music especially bow wow's songs.

I drive to school and it wasn't hard to find. This is like the only school in the town. I park far away from the other cars and I brace myself to go inside. I take my sunglasses off the dashboard and I put them on. I really didn't like people looking at me so I put these on so no one will but it never does work. I get out and take my bag and close the door to the car and I lock it. I put the keys in my pocket and I walk to the entrance of the school. As I walk past 5 teenagers they were vampires I can smell it on them. To be nice I smile at them as I walk by and then I go to the front office for my things.

_**Alice**_

"You were right Alice. He has both scents on him which isn't normal."

Jasper says to me but I already knew but he didn't want to believe it until he saw it for himself.

"I' am always right. You should have learned that by now. Now I'm going to offer our new student help around the school."

Jasper was concerned by this since we didn't know anything by him but by his smile I can tell he wasn't bad at all. He is just a mystery to everyone. You just have to figure him out.

"Ali, I don't know if that's a good idea. What if he tries to hurt you?"

"He won't hurt me. I know a sweet boy like him can't even hurt a fly."

I was right and Jasper knew I was. Jasper still had concern in his eyes so I had only one idea to calm him.

"Then come with me if you're so worry. Maybe if we talk with him together then we both can find out what he really is."

Jasper takes my hand in his and we walk up to the front office where he is. We walk in while he is talking to the scentarty.

"Yes, thank you."

"No problem."

As he turns around he still had his sunglasses on.

"Oh wait, these two students can help you around, Jamie."

He puts his head up and walks out with us. He takes off his sunglasses and I see that his eyes are green just plain green. Wow this kid was sure different.

"Hey I'm Alice Cullen and this is my boyfriend, Jasper Hale"

"Nice to meet you, I'm Jamie Platt."

"Can I see what classes you have?"

He hands the paper to us and as we look over it we see that I have two classes with him while Jasper has 4 of them with him.

"You have two classes with me and four with Jasper."

"That's cool. At less I will know people."

We laugh a little and walk to his first class. As I study him I see things in him that I see in Esme. His eyes were green just like hers were when she was human, his hair was her color and his smile was just like hers. Jasper doesn't see it but I do.

"Jamie if I may ask where did you get your last name from?"

"It's from my mother. I never met my father so my mother just gave me her last name."

He never met his father? I felt bad for him. I hate when fathers or mothers leave their child for no good reason. Jamie didn't look like he mind through which was good. I guess.

"I know you two know what I' am so let's stop pretending."

For one thing this boy was smart. He didn't take all day to notice he only took a few minutes.

"But how are you half and half?"

Jasper asks him. He shrugs his shoulders at us.

"I have no idea once so ever. It happened a few months when I was newborn."

"That's interesting Jamie. We have to get going to class so at lunch you can meet the rest of us."

"It's Fine with me."

We walk off to our classes and I stop in the middle of the hallway. I just realized it. Jamie Platt, of course he was Esme's son. The one she told us about. This boy that we were just talking to was the long lost son of Esme. This was great news.

"Alice, did you have a vision?"

"No Jazz but I just realized something about Jamie."

"Which is what?"

"Jamie is Esme's long lost son from when she was human."

Jasper eyes were big and he shakes his head no at me. Of course he didn't believe me. He didn't see any features from Esme in Jamie.

"Alice, it can't be. Jamie died at 19 according to Esme."

"Jasper just think about for a second. His eyes, his hair and his smile, then he is as sweet as she is. Jamie didn't die Jasper; he was turned into a vampire. The one we just saw and talked to."

Jasper stares at me for a second and he thinks over everything. After a while it clicks in his mind.

"That's her son. Oh my god I can't believe it."

_**Jamie**_

School is downright boring. Even as a human I hated school. That's why when I graduated I didn't even go to college. My grades sucked and I bet they will again. I didn't really need to worry since I didn't have parents at home to bug me about it.

When I told Alice and Japer that I knew they knew I didn't expect much from them. They were vampires but the kind that drink from animal blood. I' am on that but I also use blood bags from blood banks. They usually make me stronger than animal blood.

It was finally lunch time which met I get to meet the rest of the other vampires. Oh this will be fun. I'm not into meeting people at all human or vampire it doesn't matter. I decided to not go to my next class after lunch since it was a study and I had it with Jasper. I rather just go home and am done with this school thing.

I put my notebook and my book in my locker and lock it up. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and go to the cafe. I didn't need to eat so I go past the lunch line and look for Alice or Jasper. I see Alice at a table in the back and she signals for me to go over there so I do. I walk past all the other students and I make it to the table. Jasper has me sit next to him.

"Well you know Alice of course but everyone else is Rosalie, Emmett and Edward."

They say their hellos to me and I just smile at them.

"I'm Jamie Platt."

"It's nice to meet you."

Rosalie says to me. I had no idea what to say to them since I never could explain how I'm like this or anything else.

"So Jamie tell us how you are half vampire and half human?"

The bronze hair boy I think Edward is his name, asks me.

"Well it's hard to explain but I can try. A few months into my newborn stage I started to notice my eye color coming back, I could eat regular food and drinks and I started to sleep again. When I came across some other vampires they told me I might be half and half but they didn't how I became like this."

"That's really interesting."

I didn't know what to say back. The whole lunch period we talked but Jasper and Alice went off to talk to each other. I didn't want to listen in but I know it's something about me since they have been acting strange around me. I just hope it's nothing important or anything bad.


	3. Chapter 3

__**A.N: So here is the new chapter. I'm very happy with the reviews i'm getting in response and i hope i keep getting more. This story and 'the miracle child' story i have to say are the best ones i have done. **

**Well please read and review.  
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_**Jamie**_

It's been three days since I met my new friends the Cullen's. The second day to school they weren't there but Jasper texted me saying their supposed to be in school today. I never really like other vampires but I do like the Cullen's. To me they are good people and they want to be able to help me through everything. I actually trust them which is weird to me but it was a good feeling when I got things off of my chest. Within three days I've became close with the boys of the family. I'm able to talk with them about guy things; I can never do that with the girls. I never say this but the Cullen's were becoming family to me.

I did talk to Jasper before class and he actually talked to his parents and thought it would be a good idea to meet me. Carlisle, the leader of their coven and a doctor at the hospital, is interested in the way my transformation went and wants to see it for himself. He is married to a young girl in her 20's but they won't tell me her name or any other information. All that I'm getting from them is 'I see for myself'. They had me agree on have the meeting at my house since it will work out better for Carlisle since I live close enough to the hospital.

This whole day I've been nervous about meeting their parents and coven leader. I usually am fine about this but for some odd reason I'm really nervous about this. I have feeling something is going to happen. I was in study reading some book I didn't care about. I was looking at the time hoping for the bell to ring. Like I said I hated school when I was human and I hate it even more as a vampire.

After 5 minutes pass I hear the bell ring and I leave the class. I go to the parking lot when the Cullen's were and I go to my car.

"Are we still meeting at your house around 2:30?"

Jasper asks me. I look up at him and nod my head. I wasn't really in a talkive mood today and they have noticed it. It was my birthday today but they didn't know that. Since my mom died in my human life I started to hate my birthday. All I remember for that day is pain and being beat until I couldn't even stand up. To me birthdays suck.

"You remember where I live right?"

"Yeah of course we do."

I open the door to my car and throw my bag in there. It was already 2:00 which meant I only had a little time to myself. I drive as fast as I can home and when I get there I park the car in the driveway and I get out, leaving my bag in the car. Right now I didn't really for it or anything else. I get inside the house and I throw my body on the couch.

Every damn birthday I'm like this. I really wanted to be happy it was my birthday but it just brings back memories I don't want. I did like the good memories, the ones with my mom. When I did turn 11 she made a big thing out of it which made me very happy.

_**October 12**__**th**__** 1921**_

_It was my 11__th__ birthday which meant my mom will probably make a big fuss over it. I was very happy I was 11. It only meant I was closer to being a teenager. I get up at 8am and I run into my mom's room. Charles wasn't going to be home for a while since he was fighting in the war right now so my mom can do what she wants for my birthday. That man never let my mom do anything for my birthday which did hurt her. _

_I jump on top of her and she wakes up. She takes a hold of me and starts to tickle me all over. She stops and kisses the top of my head and holds me in her arms. _

"_Happy 11__th__ birthday, Jamie."_

"_Thanks mama."_

"_Do you want your present now or later tonight?"_

"_I want it now mama, please."_

_I sit up on the bed and she laughs a little and ruffles my hair. She grabs a tiny box and hands it to me. I sit in her lap with her arms around my stomach and I open it. I take it out of the box and it was a necklace, a locket. I open the heart and I see a picture of us two when I was just born. I look up at her and smile at her. This was the best present ever. She takes it from me and puts it around my neck. When it's on she kisses the top of my head and hugs me real tight._

"_Jamie, I love you so much. You will always remember that correct?"_

"_Yes mama. I love you a lot too."_

"_Good I love to hear that baby boy."_

_She smiles at me some more and I could tell she was happy it was just the two of us. It always was and I still wish it was. _

I had tears in my eyes. I always wear the necklace because that's the only gift I got from her after that and I never want to forget her. I had the necklace on but I usually put it under my shirt so no one sees it. It was pretty old and I didn't want it to get ruined. I always say this but I really miss my mom and if I get to see her again then I will be the happiest person ever. She was the only person in my life that never gave up on me or stopped loving me or caring about me. She is the only reason I'm the person I' am today.

I look over at the clock and it was already 2:25 and they will be here soon. I get up from the couch and I put the TV on to some Spanish music channel I usually watch. I make myself a sandwich and eat it real fast since it was 2:29 and I hear their cars pulling up now. I lower the TV but I don't turn it off. I needed something so I wasn't so nervous. I hear the doorbell and I open the door.

The Cullen kids come in first and I meet Carlisle before he comes in.

"Jamie Platt, it's nice to meet you."

"No, it's nice to meet you Jamie. I never met someone like you before."

"I can tell you more in there. Please come in."

He walks in and his wife which I didn't know the name of looks up at me and I swear my heart stops beating. She must have had the same reaction since she is staring at me with her eyes big and wide and almost full of tears. I take the necklace out and I open the locket. When I see the women in front of me it was my mom. I can't believe it.

"J…Jamie?"

"M…mom?"

She doesn't say anything to me. She hugs me and holds me real tight. She was crying venom tears and I was crying real tears. It felt great to have this feeling again and it's on my birthday. I inhale her scent. The scent I always smelt when she was with me. When we let go she wipes my tears away and moves the hair out of my face.

"I thought I lost you forever baby boy."

"I thought the same about you but you can never lose me forever."

"Like I told you Jamie I will always be there for you, even if it's only in your heart."

We hear someone clearing their throat. It was her husband, Carlisle. I turn around and we go and sit down on the couch. I don't know if they knew but by the looks on Alice and Jasper's face they did know but they never told me. That was sneaky I might say.

"Carlisle, do you remember when I was first changed and told you about my first son, Jamie?"

"Yes I believe so."

"Well this is him. Jamie this is Carlisle my husband."

She has a new husband, well that's great. I was very protective of my mom so I didn't trust this guy and I doubt I ever will.

_**Esme**_

My baby boy was alive! I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to let go of him. I was afraid if I did then I will realize it was just a dream but when I did let go he was still there. I really can't believe this was my little Jamie. He was much older now. I can see he has grown into a fine young man without me there. I had my arm around him since I didn't want to let go of him.

I missed him more than anything in this world and I don't know why but I'm getting a second chance with my son. It felt great, no it felt more than great but I can't describe it. I look over to him and I still see the boy he used to be. He wasn't look at Carlisle but he was looking at other people. By the looks of it he wasn't happy with me remarrying.

I start to rub his back in circles like I use to and he was playing with a necklace in his hand and when I see it I notice it was the necklace I gave him for his 11th birthday.

"Jamie, you still have that, even though it's been so many years."

"Yes of course I do. When you died I never took it off. I still don't. I just hide it under my shirt so it doesn't get ruined."

I don't take it off his neck but I take a look at it and it was in still perfect condition. Jamie sure knew how to take care of his things especially important things.

"I can't believe how new it still looks."

"Well it's something from you and I wasn't going to ruin it to pieces."

He laughs softly and I hit him playful like I use to do when he was younger.

For the next 3 hours Jamie and everyone else talked about things. Jamie did talk about his change and how he was changing back into half human a few months afterwards. He wasn't very open with his past before he changed and I already knew why. Jamie didn't want to talk about it and they respected it but for me, as his mother, I wanted to know what happened to him after I left. I wanted to know how much damage Charles caused.

After everyone stopped talking I had a great idea for Jamie.

"Jamie I have a good idea for you."

"Which is?"

"How about you come and live with us? I hate that your living alone and it would kept my mind at ease."

"Yeah I will."

"Great. I really have missed you Jamie and isn't it your birthday?"

As I look around Alice was excited and everyone else was surprised to know it was his birthday.

"Uh yeah but I didn't tell them."

"I already know why you didn't but anyways happy birthday baby."

"Thanks."

Everyone else says happy birthday to him and I could tell Alice was planning something for her new brother. Every one of the kids liked that he was going to be in the family. I hope he warms up to Carlisle and accept him as his stepfather. Jamie doesn't look happy I remarried which meant he will give Carlisle a very hard time. Please Jamie I hope you accept him and don't do anything to him.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Jamie**_

**3 Months Later**

Let's just say I hate living here. The reason being is because of Carlisle. I don't trust him. I don't know if he knows himself that I don't but if he doesn't know then that is better for me. I get along fine with my mother and her adopted children. I got closer with them but not Carlisle, my stepfather, as my mom says. Every time he tries to talk to me or be a father to me I push him away because I don't want that. My mom says to just let him be a father to me since he is a great father to the other children but I just say I don't want him to be my father.

I will never trust him or let him be my father so there is no chance for him.

I wanted to go out into town to buy some new shoes and some pair of jeans but I didn't have my own car yet so I had to use my mom's or someone's else's but no one else was home expect Carlisle and my mom so I go downstairs to find her but all I find is Carlisle. Oh that's just great.

"Where's my mom at?"

I ask him without even looking at him.

"She had to go to the store to get a few things. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah everything is fine."

I say to him. When I tend to walk away he grabs my arm but I snatch it away real fast.

"Don't touch me alright?"

"Jamie, son, if I did anything wrong then you can tell me."

"First don't even call me son because I'm not your son. You didn't do anything wrong I just don't like the fact that my mom marry you."

I didn't care what I said to him anymore. I always am nice but my mom wasn't here so to me it didn't matter.

"Jamie I'm sorry you feel that way but I'm nothing like your other stepfather. I would never _ever _hit your mom or my children, including you. I love your mother more than words can describe."

"I don't care alright. I'm going out. I'll be back whenever."

He doesn't stop me which made me very happy. I open the door and I slam it when I close it. As I'm about to leave my mom drives up and I go to her door to help her out and she hands me her keys.

"You need my car as usual am I correct?"

"Yes you are."

Carlisle comes out and I slam the door shut and I start the car. I leave the house and I drive to where I wanted to be. I hated stepfathers because of Charles. I will never accept Carlisle as my father or friend. He wasn't anything to me. I park the car in some store parking lot and I hit the steering wheel in angry. Why didn't I have my birth father when I was younger? It would have saved me a lot of hate and pain I had to endure with Charles. Just thinking of his name makes me madder. I wanted to kill something or someone right now. I hear my phone ringing and I take it out of my pocket and it was Alice but I throw my phone in the back seat of the car and I don't answer it. It keeps ringing but I keep ignoring it. I pull my sleeve up and I look at the scars I have from me cutting myself when I was first changed. They never healed since I did it to myself. I hated my life when I was human and I hated it even more now.

I knew what I had to do. I take out the pocket knife I always have on me and I take it to my wrist but before I even have a chance to do it someone grabs me out of the car and slams me to the ground taking the knife out of my hand. When I can adjust I see that it is Carlisle. What the hell was he doing here?

_**Carlisle **_

I want him to trust me. I want to be the father he never had but he won't let me be. I love him as my son. Yeah I will admit I'm jealous that he has a better relationship with Esme but I also understand because that is her one and only son, her first born.

When I first saw Jamie I couldn't believe how much he looked like Esme, expect the skin color. They were truly mother and son. I felt bad for Jamie. He never had a father in his life. His birth father leaves before he was even born and then his stepfather treated him really bad. Probably worst then when I was younger. I felt his pain and I wanted nothing more but to be there for him.

I was bought out of my thoughts when I hear my cell phone vibrating. It was my lovely daughter, Alice.

"Hello Alice."

"Dad you have to get to the market downtown. Jamie isn't thinking right and is about to either kill himself or cut his skin so deep he bleeds to death! Please go and save him before he does something stupid!"

I didn't care if the boy hated me; I was going to save him from his own studipness.

Jamie needed someone. He needed his father.

I drop my phone and run as fast as I can downtown. When I get to the car I force open his door and take him by the shirt and slam him to the pavement. I knock the knife out of his hand and I take a tight hold on him so he doesn't do anything to get the knife back. When he sees me his eyes are big and wide.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm saving you Jamie. I won't let you kill yourself."

He tries to fight out of my grip but I just grip tighter. He was my son and there was no way he hell I was going to lose him. He means a lot to me and even Esme knows that. I almost was crying venom tears. I didn't want to think of losing Jamie.

"Why the fuck do you even care? You're not my father. You don't have to pretend to care because your marry to my mother."

"I'm not pretending Jamie! When are you going to understand that? I'm not like your birth father or stepfather! I would never hurt you in anyway or your mother. Jamie you're my son and even you know that. I love you and I can never lay a hand on my son."

With that said I let go of Jamie and he starts to cry. He was shaking all over. As his father I knew what I needed to do. I go up to him and hold him in my arms. He doesn't struggle to get out or push me away like he has been. He was clinging onto my shirt for dear life. I hold onto him tighter. I wasn't going to let him go. I can never let him go. He was now my son and I had a duty to show him I can be the father he never had.

"I…I'm s…sorry!"

"I know you are Jamie."

After almost 15 minutes Jamie looks up at me and I wipe his tears away that kept falling.

"Jamie like I said before I love you as my son. I would never treat you like your step father did. I would never leave you and most important I will always be there for you in more ways than one. I know it will take time to accept me as your step father or your plain father but I will always be there if you need someone for advice or just to talk to."

"I'm sorry Carlisle and I understand."

Finally we were getting somewhere we each other. This road we are on will be a long on. I don't know how long it will take for me to accept me but right now I'm just really glad I saved my son from killing himself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Esme **

To tell truth I was overly happy about having Jamie back in my life. I felt so alone and so much guilt for leaving him with the worst possible guardian ever. I was happy that he was finally accepting Carlisle as his father. I knew it wasn't going to be easy bringing in another male figure in his live since the first one wasn't that good to him. I knew Jamie wasn't going to be happy about it at all or accept Carlisle but he did after a few weeks and I was glad about it.

The only thing I've been worrying about was when Carlisle told me how Jamie was found trying to kill himself. I could never think Jamie trying to do anything to himself but with me gone he couldn't deal with anything at all. That just made me feels worst. I see the scars on his arms from his cutting and I try my best to think he is done with it but I know he still wants to cause harm to himself. I can't say I blame him. Jamie is back in my life which means I will try everything I can in my power to help him and make sure he knows he does not have to cause any harm to himself and to talk to any one of us if he has to.

Tonight was just Carlisle, me and Jamie. The rest of our children were out hunting. Jamie doesn't need to hunt as much as the rest of us so at night he rests or he sleeps until at least 5 or 5:30 in the morning. While we are in the living room, talking and watching a TV show we hearing a scream coming from Jamie's room. As fast as we can we run up to his room and open his door. Jamie was sitting upward, sweating through his clothes and tears were coming down his face. I go over to him and comfort him the best I can. Carlisle looks through his draws for some clothes for him to wear.

"Jamie, did you have a nightmare?"

When Jamie was younger he had really bad nightmares which made him sleep with me every night or have me sleep in his room. Things haven't change as much as I thought it has.

He nods his head at me.

"What was it about? Remember if you talk about it, it helps you sleep better."

He looks up at me with his sad green eyes.

"It was about the abuse with Charles."

"Do you always have these kinds of nightmares?"

He nods his head at me again. Jamie puts his head down so he doesn't look at me. He was feeling guilt or some other feeling for not telling me he had these nightmares. Carlisle hands him the basketball shorts and a white t shit.

"Go in the bathroom and change. We will be out here waiting for you, son."

He nods his head and gets up, slowly to his bathroom. I couldn't deal with this. I didn't want to. He was having these nightmares all because of me. If I just went back for him then things would have been different. He would have had a really great relationship with Carlisle and be changed at the time he wanted to be changed. He wouldn't have to deal with someone hating him and beating him every day. He would have be safe.

"I know what you're thinking love, this is none of your fault."

Carlisle was holding my hand, rubbing it with his thumb to try to make me better but it wasn't working. My baby boy was in pain because of me leaving him with the worst guy on this earth.

"Yes it is. I should have never left him. It wasn't safe for him there. I should have just got him to live with us."

"But you know it wasn't safe. You were a newborn and for all you know you could have killed him if he lived with us."

Part of what Carlisle was saying was true. I was a newborn and didn't have that much control. If Jamie was living with us then I could have slipped and killed my own son. That wouldn't be something I would be able to forgive myself for.

"What should matter is that you have him back now. Whatever times you missed with him you can have with him now. He needs his mother more than anything right now."

"He also needs his father."

"He will when you two talk with each other."

Carlisle sees Jamie come out of the bathroom and he gets up to leave the room. Jamie comes back and sits on his bed. He wasn't looking at me which is never a good sign in your child.

"Jamie, can you look at me for a minute?"

He turns his head towards me and I can't see any type of feeling in his eyes. It was all darkness in them. I didn't see Jamie anymore. I was seeing a different side of him.

**Jamie Cullen**

'_You're a failure and you will never amount to anything.'_

'_It's your entire fault your mother died. She couldn't handle you anymore so she off herself to not deal with you anymore.' _

'_I wish I didn't get struck with your selfish little self. I hate you Jamie and I should kill you.'_

That's all that was going through my head at the moment. That's all I heard growing up. All of those things said to me haven't gone away. I always try my best to tell myself that what he told me isn't true but if you hear it every single day for 7 years then you start to believe it.

I heard everything that was said while I was in the bathroom changing. My mother shouldn't blame herself. Everything that happened isn't her fault and I wish she saw it. I didn't know what I was feeling anymore. I don't even want to feel anymore. Every time I feel it just gives me more pain. The pain that I don't need.

"Jamie I'm so sorry for leaving you with him and for everything you went through. I should have never left you."

"Mom, no, it's not your fault. You left for a reason and after a while I understood and forgave you."

"Jamie I really want to know the truth. How did you feel when I left?"

I turn away from her. I didn't give her the truth before. I lied to her because I didn't want her to know how much pain I was in because of her leaving. Now I will have to tell her the truth. I can't lie to her because this time she will know. I take a deep breath and start to talk.

"At first when I got the news of your death I didn't want to believe it. I ran to my room and wouldn't come out for three days. I didn't eat or sleep. It didn't matter to Charles. He left to drink or gamble at clubs and left me alone. I didn't care since I got away from him for a few hours. It took me until I was 13 to finally accept you were gone for good. I didn't want to believe you left me with him but I had to believe it weather I wanted to or not. All I did as a human and as a vampire was cry my eyes out because you weren't with me. I tried killing myself a few times but it never worked and I started to cut myself to just feel like I was still alive and somehow you were with me still."

My eyes were in tears and I wipe them away. I needed to tell her and be strong during this. I couldn't breakdown like I've been doing. I look over at her and straight in her eyes.

"All I wanted was you to save me from the hell I was living. You were the only person who didn't abounded me or abuse me. You actually loved me and cared about me. I wanted that feeling again but until now I never had that feeling."

I was finished telling her and she had tears coming down her face but they were venom tears not real tears like mine. I get up and hug her and comfort her the best I can. I always did when I was younger. That's why I was the best son to my mom. I rub her back to try to help her stop crying. I didn't like my mom upset at all. It killed me inside since she was my mom.

After five minutes she calms down and let's goes of me. She pushes my hair out of my face and kisses me on the forehead.

"Jamie, I love you and I never meant to leave you with him. You didn't dervse anything that happened to you. No matter what you were tell by him you are my son and I can see you have a lot in me. You have so much love for anyone you meet and even if you don't know the person you still care about them. It's amazing that you came out this way even though you were raised by the worst guy ever."

I see her breath in and then out even though she didn't need to.

"I'm truly sorry you had to go through what you went through. You will have that feeling forever. You will never feel unloved or like no one cares about you because now you have me, your father and brothers and sisters that love and care about you a lot."

She didn't need to tell me that since I knew on the third day that they loved me a lot and care for me deeply. I did feel love here by everyone and I wanted the feeling to stay. Having my mom say that it will stay and not go away it made me feel much better.

"Thank you for talking to me about everything. It made me feel much better."

"I' am in your life now, Jamie. I will always be there if you need to talk to someone.

"I love you mom."

"I love you too sweetie and never forget that."

She doesn't leave my room. Instead she helps me back into bed and hums me a tune I use to listen to when I was a baby. After 5 minutes it helps me fall asleep and for once I knew I won't have any nightmares.


End file.
